Lately the folks at Pandora Radio, through one of their pop up windows, have been trying to set me up on a date with hot guys in the 50s, all of whom look like Richard Gere. You’d think that, nailing my age more accurately than most of my friends, these cyber match makers would know [...]
Archive for the ‘Job’ Category
Internet Disconnection
August 18th, 2011
4 Comments
You’ll be happy to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with my Internet connection, even though it cuts out a dozen times in a day, sometimes, and on other days it merrily chugs along. I would share your joy in my smoothly running variable speed situation if it weren’t for that random “cutting out a [...]
Jiminy Crock Pot! Hot Food for Dinner!
July 28th, 2011
No Comments
This last month I discovered the existence of the crock pot. No, not crack pots. Very funny. I’m talking about the slow cooker, which, theoretically one fills with goodies at the beginning of the day, plugs in, and walks away while the veggies and the meatsies burble away until evening, when one wanders back in, [...]
Don’t Say “Can’t”
July 7th, 2011
17 Comments
Someone suggested to me once that when you use the word “can’t,” you append the word “yet,” afterwards, as in: “I can’t skydive . . . yet.” “I can’t understand quantum physics . . . yet.” “I can’t play the oboe . . . yet.” The concept that we not limit ourselves by words is [...]
The Summer of Our Contentment
June 22nd, 2011
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So, I’m sitting in a parked car, doing yet another one of those 20-minute chauffeur trips for the progeny that turns into 85, and I’m bored. Ahead of me is a van with writing on it: Water. Wind. Fire. Whoa, that’s cool. When I’m not sitting in cars, I’ve been reading the Tony Hillerman Navaho [...]
Bruce Willis Knitting
May 18th, 2011
18 Comments
I confess: I engage in reckless behavior. Sometimes I salt my food before I taste it. I set the cruise control for two miles over the speed limit. If the headache’s bad enough, I’ll take two aspirin instead of one. But perhaps my most dangerous side, my Die Hard Bruce Willis persona, comes out in [...]
An Alarming Faceoff in the Bedroom
May 4th, 2011
5 Comments
When you think about all the ways that two different people — say, a Norwegian Artist and a Polish Writer — do things, it’s amazing that relationships last at all. Take alarm clocks, for instance. For years, the whinnying diminutive exploding box resided on the Norwegian Artist’s side, and, because he didn’t like red numbers [...]
And You Think Naming a Baby Is Difficult?
April 21st, 2011
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You know, if the economy gets REALLY bad, and, say, art sales are affected nationwide, then the Norwegian Artist and I will pick up second jobs with the interior/exterior paint companies naming paint colors. I found a dark orange the other day that’s perfect for the bathroom wall — assuming that it becomes exclusively my [...]
Mr. Spock Knows How to Pronounce “Exacerbate”
April 16th, 2011
2 Comments
In addition to our ability to make memorably embarrassing comments, we all manage to mangle the pronunciation of the English language to such a degree that outsiders assume that we are first generation Norwegians and Poles, as opposed to third.
The Little Things Don’t Tweet and Ring
April 13th, 2011
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One of the phones buzzes; another one shrieks; the third one retches. When they all go off at once it sounds as if the dog is getting sick.
